Not Ready.

I was very unsure about the nearness of it, as with it comes feelings of 'but I haven't done enough', 'but I've only just got used to wearing summer clothes', and 'so much to do before...'

But this year I feel strangely calm about it. This is not to say I am in any way more prepared - everything comes together in time, it always does, but I am Ethelred The Unready when it comes to plotting ahead for things like...Christmas.

But the crispy sour apples are in. The rhubarb is crumbled. The first batch of damsons is giving me their usual joyful bellyache, bought from an unmanned roadside stall for 50p a hundredweight (I put the money into the postbox as instructed).

The Smedley jumper is washed, ironed and on. I'm even wearing a jacket. And the woodburner is lit. 

I'm not panicking, so it must be all right. 

Hello Autumn!

STICKY FRUIT CAKE.

It's early, but start practising: the best Christmas or any time of year 'I Need Cake' recipe, handed down from my Mum.

Sticky but sweet, sugarless and, if you use the right flour, gluten free.

Leave out the almonds and nutmeg (substitute vanilla and cinnamon) and it's nut free too! 

Good grief how perfect IS this recipe?

Do NOT be tempted to leave out the fat. It's essential to the recipe.

If you are considering doing that, then you shouldn't be eating cake. Harsh but fair.

Here we go.

You will need:

300gm vegan marge / marge /unsalted butter (choose according to dietary needs - but the fat is essential so don't skip it)

500ml apple juice

300g dates

350g raisins

325g sultanas (measurements not exact)

1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda

150g plain flour

150g ground almonds

half a teaspoon of nutmeg

zest of oranges and lemons

Set oven to 160º C. (140º WITH A FAN OVEN).

Line a large cake tin with greaseproof paper.

Melt butter and apple juice.

Stir in dates, raisins and sultanas.

Bring to the boil and boil for 5 minutes.

Transfer to a mixing bowl.

Add bicarbonate of soda.

WATCH IT FIZZ!!

Cover for 10 minutes with a clean tea towel.

Stir ground almonds and nutmeg into the mix.

Fold in the zest.

Pour the lot into a big cake tin, which you've pre-lined!

Cover the surface with greased baking paper; leave a hole in the middle for checking it's cooked.

Bang in the oven for 2.5 hours, or till cooked.

Keep checking it; it should be a little sticky, but firm, and not runny.

Remove and leave to cool completely before attempting to remove from the tin.

Slice and stuff in face, repeat ad nauseum, or till the bells stop jingling.