Mole's Christmas Nut Roast

Here's my recipe for nut roast. I made it from a combination of a recipe I found and one of our own with suggestions from a chef friend. It's worked every time!

All ingredient measurements are 'ish'.

250g mixed nuts - nice oily ones, don't be a cheapskate.
Invest in some cashews, macadamias, hazelnuts, walnuts, almonds, pine nuts if you can...plenty, and a good mix.

100g shallots, finely diced

A couple of carrots, also finely diced

Bread crumbs

400g tinned tomatoes (DRAIN OFF the juice - keep it for something else)

Sage, thyme, rosemary, lovage, any other savoury herbs you fancy

Parsley is optional - is quite a distinctive taste (I don't use it because I'm allergic to it)

Tablespoon of yeast extract blended with 1tsp boiling water

Black pepper, salt to taste (add at the end)

A little oil for greasing the pan

Toast all the nuts gently and carefully till browned, in a dry frying pan on medium heat. Leave to cool.

Cook down the onions and carrots in a little oil with there herbs till nice and soft (onions should be transparent).

While these are cooking, blitz the cooled nuts in a blender till they're broken up nicely, pretty ground up, but not powdered - you need texture.

Preheat the oven to 190 degrees C. Prepare a loaf tin by lining with greaseproof paper.

Put the nuts and cooked veg into a bowl and combine with the tomatoes, bread crumbs, the boiling water and yeast extract mixture and any further seasoning. Mix well.

Test the mixture for dryness - if it feels dry, add a little of the tomato juice at a time or boiled water (oil will come out of the nuts, so there's no need to add this).

When scoopy and a good stiff texture, put into the loaf tin and bake for at least 40 mins. Keep testing - it'll firm up but won't go too hard. If the top starts to burn, cover with foil and continue baking.

The loaf should be allowed to cool before attempting to slice. If you want it hot on the day, you can either gently re-heat the loaf or cut some slices (easier when cool) and warm those up. It's good fresh from the oven, but don't expect picture-perfect slices if you serve it this way! It'll come out a little more...idiosyncratic.

Serve with EVERTHING ON THE TABLE!

Not Ready.

I was very unsure about the nearness of it, as with it comes feelings of 'but I haven't done enough', 'but I've only just got used to wearing summer clothes', and 'so much to do before...'

But this year I feel strangely calm about it. This is not to say I am in any way more prepared - everything comes together in time, it always does, but I am Ethelred The Unready when it comes to plotting ahead for things like...Christmas.

But the crispy sour apples are in. The rhubarb is crumbled. The first batch of damsons is giving me their usual joyful bellyache, bought from an unmanned roadside stall for 50p a hundredweight (I put the money into the postbox as instructed).

The Smedley jumper is washed, ironed and on. I'm even wearing a jacket. And the woodburner is lit. 

I'm not panicking, so it must be all right. 

Hello Autumn!

STICKY FRUIT CAKE.

It's early, but start practising: the best Christmas or any time of year 'I Need Cake' recipe, handed down from my Mum.

Sticky but sweet, sugarless and, if you use the right flour, gluten free.

Leave out the almonds and nutmeg (substitute vanilla and cinnamon) and it's nut free too! 

Good grief how perfect IS this recipe?

Do NOT be tempted to leave out the fat. It's essential to the recipe.

If you are considering doing that, then you shouldn't be eating cake. Harsh but fair.

Here we go.

You will need:

300gm vegan marge / marge /unsalted butter (choose according to dietary needs - but the fat is essential so don't skip it)

500ml apple juice

300g dates

350g raisins

325g sultanas (measurements not exact)

1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda

150g plain flour

150g ground almonds

half a teaspoon of nutmeg

zest of oranges and lemons

Set oven to 160º C. (140º WITH A FAN OVEN).

Line a large cake tin with greaseproof paper.

Melt butter and apple juice.

Stir in dates, raisins and sultanas.

Bring to the boil and boil for 5 minutes.

Transfer to a mixing bowl.

Add bicarbonate of soda.

WATCH IT FIZZ!!

Cover for 10 minutes with a clean tea towel.

Stir ground almonds and nutmeg into the mix.

Fold in the zest.

Pour the lot into a big cake tin, which you've pre-lined!

Cover the surface with greased baking paper; leave a hole in the middle for checking it's cooked.

Bang in the oven for 2.5 hours, or till cooked.

Keep checking it; it should be a little sticky, but firm, and not runny.

Remove and leave to cool completely before attempting to remove from the tin.

Slice and stuff in face, repeat ad nauseum, or till the bells stop jingling.